Can't

Can’t is the cancer of happen.

~Charlie Sheen

We have a few rules

We have a few rules here. Nobody panics. There’s no judgment. You park your judgment at the door. Nobody dies. And — enjoy every moment. What did I miss? Drink chocolate milk. We just have fun. There’s a ton of laughter in this house. A ton of love in this house. There’s a ton of nobility in this house.

~Charlie Sheen

I earn

I earn two million an episode. I’m underpaid!

~Charlie Sheen

I just don't do it

“I just don’t do it. I will not believe that if I do something then I have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.”

~Charlie Sheen

I'm here

I’m here and I’m ready. They’re not. Bring it.

~Charlie Sheen

Did you say Cancun

"Did you say Cancun or caboose? I don't know, I was in a blackout, man."

~Charlie Sheen

I'm grandiose

"I'm grandiose. I have a grandiose life and I'm embracing it. ... It doesn't fit into their model and their model sucks."

~Charlie Sheen

You have the right

“You have the right to kill me, but you do not have the right to judge me. Boom. That’s the whole movie. That’s life”

~Charlie Sheen

If you borrowed

If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.

- Charlie Sheen

She's not there now

She’s not there now and we are and I don’t know, winning, anyone? Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us.

~Charlie Sheen

When I step

When I step between the lines it’s on, I’m there to show others how it’s done, it’s not really rocket science you know.

~Charlie Sheen

You could not

You could not make this shit up. Holy-Crap-Balls. Talk about your career suicide! At least he is doing it so publicly for our amusement.

~ Unknown

(Either it was Charlie Sheen or was it someone else referring to Charlie Sheen.)

I'm a winner

"I'm a winner and their lives look like they're - you know, ruled by losers."

~Charlie Sheen

I'm here

I’m here to collect. They’re going to lose.

- Charlie Sheen

I'm dealing with

“I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee … they lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’

~Charlie Sheen

You're either

"You're either in Sheen's corner or you're with the trolls."

~Charlie Sheen

Stay off the crack

"Stay off the crack.
Drink a chocolate milk."

~Charlie Sheen

We're definitely at war

"We're definitely at war. They're trying to destroy my family. I take great umbrage with that. Defeat is not an option. They picked a fight with a warlock."

~Charlie Sheen

I'm on a drug

I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available, because if you try it once, you will die and your children will weep over your exploded body. Too much?

~Charlie Sheen

Your face

Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

~Charlie Sheen